This year I wanted to work towards becoming more patient.
Plenty times I was tested and few times I failed.
However a lot of good came out of those few bad experiences.
I’m beginning to see that being more thorough is more rewarding than racing.
In retrospect, I’ve accomplished a lot personally and it’s allowed me to see life a little bit differently.
Sometimes I wonder if death is more than what we think it is but at the same time nothing like what we can imagine.
Maybe there is nothing to imagine. Maybe it’s the last image we have in our mind that stays and becomes our utopia or hell.
A lot of great people die every day.
My mother gave birth to a baby girl who lived 2 weeks past her expected survival. Despite her battle, if she had survived, would she think about taking her own life 25 years later ?
My mother gave birth to a baby boy who she learned was gay when he was 16 years old. Would she ever imagine her reaction would cause 5 years of depression and suicidal thoughts ?
Lee Thompson Young’s death really surprised me. More than Micheal Jackson, more than Whitney because there were no obvious signs.
In the wake of his death I wonder if the depression I battle will be masked by other’s impression of my appearance and my natural inclination to wear a smile; and no one will ever know what went through my mind and be just as surprised.
I grew up watching The Famous Jett Jackson. Lee is apart of my childhood. So the news immediately took me back to my early days and I thought to myself ; could I ever had imagined that he would take his own life for any reason.
In a way, I lost a little bit of hope.